Do You Bathe With Your Woman?

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Hey, these things just write themselves.  Seriously, do you think I could make up shit like this?  It's totally real, I swear!  This morning I was perusing the Saturday paper at breakfast and I was overwhelmed at the array of bizarro articles.  The above article, in the "Total Man" section of the paper, was only one of several, which I feel compelled to share with you now.  Simply because of their weird content.  Oh, and by the way, most of those men said that yes, they did indeed bathe with their woman(en),  Phew! I'd hate to think that the philandering men of Uganda were holding out on the ladies...pffft!

Across from the "Bathe With Your Woman" article was this very urgent article on better grooming...Apparently, good socks make the man. What? You haven't heard that before?  Have you been living under a rock or what?!?

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Apparently well educated Ugandan men are getting a bad rap in the sack these days...With all the sex going on here, it's difficult to believe that any guy is lacking in this area but apparently, according to this article, dudes with a high intellect prefer not to exercise their junk as much as, say, day laborers and the likes.  Seriously?  Just typing that out cracked me up.

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Then, there's apparently an epidemic of "upper class" Kampala women who are too wussy to push out a kid through the typical methods so they're opting for non-medically needed C-sections. Weird or what?

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But those aren't the weirdest stories...Oh no my friends, there's more bizarre stuff, known as "Mystery Date"...Mystery Date is when the paper fixes up two readers on a blind date.  The thing is, the guys are usually married or have a girlfriend, and often the women have boyfriends.  For example, our boy Moses, below, seemed to forget that he was, uh, married, and that his photo would, you know, be in the actual newspaper for all to see. The really sad thing was that Edith, his "date", said she'd entertain being his lover if he was "serious" about it.  WTF?!?

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And this other Mystery Date...seems all these guys are named Moses...What's up with that?  Annnyway, these two got along better than the above "couple", though apparently she has a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend.  Perhaps the wierdest aspect of the below article is that when asked if Moses would "marry" her (uh, not sure of the implications on their current partners...) he said "Of course. If things went well, I would. But these things depend on God's will."  Seriously?  Is it God's will that these people sign up for a blind date when they're already in relationships with other people? 

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The really sad thing is that working here on HIV/AIDS programs, nobody in the HIV sector is talking to the newspaper to tell them that their "dating" program is sending out conflicting messages...And to that, I really have nothing funny to say. 

Posted on Saturday, April 12, 2008 at 07:10AM by Registered Commenternoodle princess | CommentsPost a Comment

Cold Drink, Armed Guard

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Nothing says "I"m back in Africa" quite like an icy cold Bitter Lemon when the going gets hot.  I remember having Bitter Lemon as a kid, but for some reason, you cant get it in the States anymore, at least I haven't seen it in decades.  The other thing that says, "I'm back in Uganda again..." is the plethora of armed guards all over the place.  I'll add more photos of them as I get them, it's not easy to take a photo of an armed guard here but I got this one of a guy guarding the cafe where I was enjoying my cold Bitter Lemon.  I dont even think his gun has a magazine clip in it as there was an empty hole where the clip should be (listen to me, like I'm such an expert on ammo clips...).  But anyway, it's always an interesting experience to be in a country where people openly carry firearms.  Ahhhhhh, Uganda...But seriously, it's a great country.  Once you get past the armed guards all over the place.
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Posted on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 11:01AM by Registered Commenternoodle princess | CommentsPost a Comment

Rush Hour, Ugandan Style...

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Yeah, so, I was walking over to the National Theater in Kampala last weekend to see the craft market, and I walked past this "Subway" and I thought, hey, I didn't know Uganda had a subway?!  Wow, how totally urban and western and progressive of them.  Then I asked someone "where does this subway go?" and they pointed across the street and said, "It goes there."  I was thinking, 'huh?"  Turns out, it's not a subway in the 'what time does the next train arrive?' way...Nope.  The "subway" here is an underground walkway to the other side of a very busy traffic circle...Yeah, I was confused too. It's not just you... 
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Just nearby the "subway", there was a phonebox...It's quite nice of MTN to put up an umbrella for callers, isn't it?  I'm surprised nobody's stolen it yet...
Posted on Tuesday, April 8, 2008 at 10:25AM by Registered Commenternoodle princess in | CommentsPost a Comment

Got Meat?

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Next time you're in Kampala, Uganda, and you're hankering for a little BBQ, stop by the "New Quality Smart Butchery", special purveyors of fine cow meat, goat meat, and of course, liver.  Though I'm not sure where the liver is coming from.  Cow. Goat. Really, does it matter?  You're in Uganda - live dangerously!  Oh wait, did you take a taxi to get to the butchery?  Then you're already living dangerously so...nevermind!
 

There are quite a lot of roadside "shops" along the highways and byways of Kampala and its surrounding neighborhoods.  Want a bed?  We can find you one on the side of the road...No problem ssebo!

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What's that you say?  You're in need of a bed and some Ugandan percussion instruments, and topping off your MTN cell phone card, all simultaneously? (Hey, I'm not judging you on what you do in your own bedroom....!) Well, you can pull over here and they can accomodate all your bed frame, cell phone, percussion needs...

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Happy shopping! 

Posted on Sunday, April 6, 2008 at 07:36AM by Registered Commenternoodle princess | Comments2 Comments

Kick'in It With Master-J

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So...I'm back in Uganda, the land of "Master J".  That's right, the Big Guy. Jesus. Africa is like serious Jesus country.  One of my drivers, James, has this little sign hanging from his rear view mirror.  It made me smile because I think it helps James drive more carefully, knowing that he's found religion and all...Anyway, I'm happy about it because he's a darn sight better and more careful about driving than most of the people on the roads around Kampala...You take your life in your hands when you drive here.  Thank god I've got the Big Guy watching over my car...

Posted on Tuesday, April 1, 2008 at 07:13AM by Registered Commenternoodle princess in | CommentsPost a Comment
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